In a recent coaching session, a client admitted to me that she would love to be considered inspiring; voiced in a way that suggested she believed she had no right to set her sights so high. She’s not the first woman I have worked with to share their desire to inspire others, in the way of a guilty confession.
Inspiring; giving people a feeling of excitement and desire to do something great. Surely a noble and altruistic ambition, and yet what is it about aspiring to something so great, particularly for women, that feels so uncomfortable to voice out loud.
We have all come across inspirational people in our lives. Inspirational irrespective of age, gender, ethnicity, occupational status etc., but who universally display energy, enthusiasm and passion, that is motivated by a desire to do what they truly believe to be the right thing. By striving to be inspiring are we not hoping to make a difference for the better, to something that matters?
On International Women’s Day it is timely to reflect on why setting big ambitions can be more of a barrier to women. Deeply ingrained gender stereotypes and social norms means many women carry the belief that in having ambitions they will be judged as conceited or selfish. The risk of judgement and fear of exclusion often outweighing the drive to live in line with our values, in a way that is fulfilling and with purpose.
Coaching allows the opportunity to challenge these fears, to recognise that being ambitious is defined by neither arrogance nor selfishness, but by a hope for something better. By seeking the support of people that won’t judge us in that way, we can develop the strength and drive to admit to our ambitions, and pursue our dreams. Or as a wise and inspiring friend once said to me; ‘surround yourself by people who lift you up’, so I do.
Nicky Hill Coaching 